In this week’s edition of The auld Yorker, our Alan managed to have catch up with Satan over tea and cream cakes at his secret getaway cottage. From his job to love life, here’s what the Lord Of The Underworld has got to share with us!
Mm, what do I do on my free day? Not much: Just read, write poetry, flaying the damned, torment guys who died on the loo. What can I say, I’m just your regular happy, clappy chappy who loves a bit of friendly horseplay!
Sorry, what’s the final question again? Oh, what’s the future for me? Well, I’m thinking it’s got a bit of potential. I dabbled with World Wars again in early January, to beat the blues away. My love life is in strife, like a sinking ship— unfortunately, not many hot singles in my local area! But it’s only temporary— Plenty of fish in the sea…a hot, blood-shot sea… Full of the damned, sinking…
So, thank you very much for having me here tonight, I do love the contemporary! But I’ve got to go, duty calls as business is thriving!
I don’t know about you, but he’s sure left me under the collar! Thank you Satan for allowing us to have chit-chat with you. Who will we interview next???
© Thomas Gallimore Barker, 2021